Why do cows stare at you?

Interviewer: Why do cows stare at you? I look into those kind, simple eyes, and it's hard for me to just think of them as something I ate last night.

CowboyBenWade: I think they do have feelings, and whatever's going on in their minds, it's important. I'm not sure they think too much about their purpose in life, but maybe in these moments when they stare at us, they do.

Interviewer: What do you mean?

CowboyBenWade: Cows are prey animals - they are food. Their purpose in life is to get eaten by another animal, and most of the time they don't put up a fight. If you're that big, and slow, and docile, and kind, there's not much you can do about it. They know it's going to happen, they just don't know when. I think maybe they would rather it not happen. Cows don't have a strong will to live, how could they? Their fate is a tasty one. I think when they look at you like that, with that passive expression, they are trying to figure out which one of them you've got your eye on. They know you're going to eat one of them, and they can't stop you.

Interviewer: So do you think it's a threat assessment?

CowboyBenWade: That would be assuming a lot, and it would involve some thinking. The bovine species isn't very good at thinking. Being eaten is a hard thing to rationalize, and I do think they know, but they don't realize that it means. Cows think in terms of fear and comfort and not much more. It's like a switch - am I afraid or am I comfortable?

Interviewer: It's interesting when they all stand together at attention with that incredulous look on their faces.

CowboyBenWade: Yes, they like to stare together. This way, they can make a collective decision, and whatever is going to happen will happen to all of them. You couldn't have an individual cow making a decision whether to run - they all have to run. If they decide to keep standing there and staring, then they all have to stand and stare. With their staring, they are trying to figure out what's going to happen next. For example, when I give them hay, they all stare at me when I'm out there doing whatever I'm doing. Sometime I need to to all go to a specific area of the field. I use a whip to make them go, and once they figure out my intentions, they all go. There are no individualists in a herd of cows. And if one should become too independent as they sometimes do, my hand will be swift in dealing with that individual. Individualistic behavior in cows must not be tolerated.

Interviewer: Why is that so?

CowboyBenWade: If a certain cow gets ideas in his head that he has certain liberties that others in the herd do not have, he will take those liberties, and there is not a fence in the world that can stop him, at least not one I'm willing to build. As a cow farmer, I cannot allow this; therefore, I must keep them in strict obedience.

Interviewer: So when cows stare, are they trying to figure out if they can usurp you?

CowboyBenWade: I believe so; I think every creature that has a master would like to be free. Sometimes I keep them in places they don't want to be, and I withhold certain fields from them from which they would like to eat. Cows stare at everything, not just me. They stare at certain areas of the fence for a long time before they attempt a breach. When they stare at me, they are beholding their master. I am in a sense a large very prominent restraint that keeps them content so that they will not need to act against my will.

Interviewer: That's a lot of responsibility.

CowboyBenWade: Indeed. I must maintain their environment so that I may continue their happiness. They are bigger than I am, so it is only my vastly superior intelligence and benevolent will that keeps them in in perfect harmony.

Interviewer: So when cows stare, are they all thinking the same thing?

CowboyBenWade: Let us have an example - if one cow decides to run and all the others stay put and get eaten, that one cow is on it's own now. It would have been far better for him to get eaten with the rest of his herd.

Interviewer: What if one cow decides to stay and the rest of the herd runs and is saved?

CowboyBenWade: That's an excellent question, and that outcome would seem best for the herd. But upon further analysis, such a break in the cohesiveness of the herd presents a vulnerability for predator to exploit. Imagine the scenario that it's not you that they are staring at but giant sliver-backed wolf. One cow decides, on his own, that he is going to stay and stare longer at the magnificent canine before him. He might want to look into its big blue eyes, searching for some motive. The rest of herd is now stampeding in the opposite direction, leaving this lone, independent thinker to find out what the wolf has on his mind.

Interviewer: He might be pretty vulnerable out there all by himself.

CowboyBenWade: Yes, you are exactly right. The wolf, although strong and fit, might not be able to bring down a cow if it's surrounded by other cows. In such a situation, there are lots of hoofs stomping, and possibly horns moving about, and that's not a good place for a wolf. He might get hurt and not get his piece of meat.

Interviewer: But a cow alone is an easy target?

CowboyBenWade: Yes, cows are stronger together, so they make decisions together. If someone in the herd decides to think for himself or herself, there is always a wolf waiting.

Interviewer: Is this a reason for humans to make more group decisions?

CowboyBenWade: Absolutely not. Cows are simple creatures, and they can't make any decision that is especially good or bad. Anything the herd will decide will be okay for the herd, again as long as they do it together. Humans are not so - and decisions made by a group of can be very bad for an individual within the group. They are capable of very good and very bad decisions. If the group were to be deceived, that decision will weigh heavily on the individuals within the group and not on the group as a whole. For humans, it is best to make one's own decisions.